I am going to do a brain dump.
Here goes nothing...
I wake up alone every morning, and I go to sleep alone too. the hardest part of this is my head is full of thoughts Ideas and thoughts with no one to share them with, I dream so real I am never sure where I am when I wake up.
My thoughts are not anything profound most of the time. this morning it was just how I find I have to keep pointing out that the idea that the whole population of Europe was illiterate doesn't scan. since we know in the Tudor period that Reading and writing were not the same subjects, and as we look further back we have times laws postered in town squares.
and the truth is even when I had James to wake up to he was not really interested in these thoughts and Ideas so I was alone even when I wasn't alone. I don't write because English is almost a second language to me. I don't know why but it is. the sad part is I lack any first language when I tried to go to college in the 90s for an architecture degree they still required a foreign language I got a waiver to take sign language in place of it... but during the first semester in Oct when I was the Designated Driver our car was T-boned at an intersection by a street cleaner on its way to a job and accidentally ran a red light at full speed. we were in a Chevet.
the irony is EDS more than likely saved my back then is not lost on me. I was in pain till a chiropractor eventually moved my vertebrae into the places they belong again a year later un-pinching my sciatic nerve. It was about 2 years later that I was a passenger in a car and the driver ran a red light in Newark and caused us to be hit by a semi garbage truck. It took ten years for me not to be afraid of street cleaners and semis lol.
I'm going to return to writing 'As the World Burns. It helps me rest my mind. I hope to post on all of my blogs more. You will have to figure out who you are in my story because I give everyone names. My understanding is that It is a gift. this makes me happy. I also hope that this will help James. my Blog has him as a gallant bard and I think he needs that too. I can't fix people, I can't fix the past. but I can paint it with words in the gentlest silliest way possible. I just hope that is enough.
I will start adding cooking stuff to my "cooking with Strawberry" Blog It helps me send recipes to my daughter. I feel like it is the only Legacy I have for my children. And I am so proud of how strong and smart and independent Amber is. And I am proud of my Bradbasaur he is killing adulting. so this Blog area will be just me rambling nothing special. If you want a giggle go read As the World Burns, It is the Melodramatic telling of my mundane life. It seems some people think it is not all that mundane and that even boring things are funnier when told in a silly form.
I know that writing won't fill a void and I know that some of you might ask for a decoder ring to even be able to read my crap. (I use Grammarly I swear. lol) and It is so vain to think anyone at all has any interest in reading anything I write. I am writing for me, not for anyone else. I need this it helps me feel not so alone. now that I have boar, my soul, to the world please don't contact me asking if I am ok. I don't like to talk about it. this is the best I got,
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